In between the cracks of my daily life, I’m making time to grow in my skills and have a better life. I’m fortunate that I don’t have huge responsibilities where they must be a priority but I do have standard responsibilities. I want to keep improving myself and keep learning. We are all forever works in progress.
I’m going to get a bit vulnerable with you guys. I’ve never had high self esteem or confidence in myself. Often times I’m the one on the sidelines hiding from attention, the wallflower during a party, or the nearly invisible person during the day. Being a huge introvert doesn’t help. As a child I would literally hide behind my parents, I was voted the quietest person in my class, and hated asking for refills because it involved a stranger interaction.
Those parts of me still exist but I’ve learned to grow past them. I’m still a work in progress but I no longer am afraid of stranger interactions (although I’m still on my guard) and I am able to give presentations without sweating up a storm (although my heart still pounds a thousand times a minute). I’m still working on how I care too much about what other people think of me as I can be a bit of a people pleaser. The only one I should be caring about for judgement is God. Too often I keep forgetting that.
All I can do is MY best and control MY behavior after learning something I either need to fix or improve. If confronted, to listen calmly and try to understand from their point of view. It’s difficult, but that’s what makes you stronger and wiser.
You can’t control how other people view you or what they think of you. All you can do is keep moving forward and once you learn. Do better. Be a kind and sympathetic person. Let go of the small things (still working on this too) because the other people have likely already forgotten.
Even though it’s easier to blame other people, you have to admit that you have a part in the growth to become a better person. You can let those negative experiences drag you down but life won’t be easy. You’ll continually be stretched, tested, and bruised but you’re not broken. Sometimes it’s easier to lay on the ground but I believe you all have a strong will and a bright soul begging to be released. Something to go after. Rest, heal, then get up and keep going. What do you have to lose if you chase it?
In cased you missed it:
I’m looking for beta readers for my current WIP, and am planning on doing Campnanowrimo and looking for a cabin to join! Let me know if you’re interested!
Good article. I want to do the best I can everytime. But I fail miserably short. Halfway through I give up then a bit later I keep going again. But I never reach that perfection I seek. Eventually I stop because I realize there’s nothing I can do. I have done everything that the me of today can do. Maybe the me of tomorrow can do it better. Who knows
Thank you Sein! Couldn’t have said it better myself! Love that you keep going despite the gnawing feeling of perfectionism!